


Jeeves and The Unbreakable Whatsit (or The Second Separation)

by Ghyll



Category: Jeeves and Wooster
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-03
Updated: 2014-11-23
Packaged: 2018-02-24 00:49:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2561924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghyll/pseuds/Ghyll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It happened once before over a musical instrument. Now Bertie is separated from his man Jeeves again, and this time it's serious.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The End of Summer

**Author's Note:**

> Well, folks, here's my second attempt at writing a story. This time it's got several chapters, but I don't know yet how many. It seems the muses have set me off.

For Bertie Wooster, the autumn colours of Central Park, New York, spelled the end of summer. He'd started coming here to this same spot every afternoon, sitting on a bench, watching people go by. It was his way of avoiding the apartment and the valet, Duxbury. He was a competent enough fellow, this Duxbury. Bertie had no complaints. But he was so...what was the word he was fumbling for.... so detached. That was it, detached. No, Bertie told himself as his thoughts started to take him down the road he was trying to avoid. No, don't think about it. Don't think about how happy you used to be. Don't think about Jeeves. 

Hold on, Old Fruit. We seem to have fallen again into the trap of starting the story in the middle. Here we have Bertie Wooster, in Central Park, his usual sunny disposition apparently having deserted him, but we have no idea how this sorry state of affairs came to pass. So let's go back to the beginning. The beginning of the end of summer.

It all started with Aunt Agatha. Well actually, no it didn't. It started long before that. It started when Mr Bertram Wooster and his new valet, Jeeves, first became acquainted. When their eyes met for the first time. But the trouble, the first hint of autumn, started one evening when Aunt Agatha happened to be in the hallway as Florence Craye was reprimanding two of the servants. Agatha thought nothing of it, but what caught her attention was the sight of her young nephew and his manservant on the stairs. They were standing close together as they peered over the bannister; so close they were touching. Her attention was caught even more by their reaction to the lecture Florence was giving. Bertie and Jeeves didn't look like master and servant. They had the air of conspirators. They looked, oh the shame of it, like friends. Enough is enough! Agatha resolved there and then to put an end to it once and for all.

Bertie, summoned once more before the most fearsome of his Aunts, expected nothing less than another roasting over something or other. He never expected her to demand the one thing, the one dreaded thing, he couldn't face. The one thing he couldn't bear. 

"You will dismiss Jeeves immediately". The dread words came and, unexpected as they were, they hit him like a hammer blow. 

"Oh now look here, Aunt Agatha......" 

"Do be quiet, Bertie! I have seen the way the two of you behave and it has to stop. You will dismiss him, or I will see to it that he is disgraced". This couldn't be happening.

"You can't do that. Jeeves isn't just a servant, he's like a friend...."

"That is precisely why, if you don't dismiss him, I intend to report a certain matter to the police"

Bertie's mouth fell open but no words came.

"Don't worry, Bertie, I'm not going to implicate you. I shall tell the police that Jeeves has been stealing from me, or committing some other nefarious act. They will always accept my word against that of a servant" 

Bertie only managed to splutter "No, you can't...." before Aunt Agatha went on. 

"So if he really is a 'friend', you'll dismiss him for his sake, if not for yours"

 

 


	2. The Envelope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Chapter 1 we heard how Aunt Agatha had demanded that Bertie dismiss his valet Jeeves. Now we hear how the dreadful deed was done.

The drive back to London in the two seater passed in uncomfortable silence. It was obvious to Jeeves that something was wrong but what dismayed him was that Bertie, he corrected himself, that is to say Mr Wooster, had not confided in him. He had told Jeeves to do the driving; an order, not a request and in what Jeeves could only describe as a sharp tone. Then there'd been silence. Mr Wooster had said nothing, nothing at all and it was so completely unlike him. 

Jeeves suspected that Mr Wooster's mood was a result of his summons before the dreaded Aunt Agatha, but why had he not brought the problem before him and asked for his help, as he always did? Mr Wooster had been angry with him the previous day over the business with the manuscript, but surely he'd forgiven him for that? He'd said as much. Jeeves glanced at Mr Wooster periodically during their journey, hoping for a smile, or just some small sign. It didn't come. 

Bertie was all too painfully aware of Jeeves next to him. Every possible scenario ran through his head, over and over. Should he have stood up to his Aunt, called her bluff? Should he tell Jeeves all, and hope against hope that he could think of a solution? How could he risk it all going wrong when, if it did, he would be the one responsible for Jeeves getting hurt? He couldn't. There was nothing for it but to do as Aunt Agatha said. But how to dismiss Jeeves, marvel that he was? By the time they reached the flat, Bertie had a plan. He had to admit it was a bally silly one, but it was a plan even so. 

That evening, when Jeeves came in with the customary drinks tray, Bertie put his plan into action. As Jeeves was about to put the tray down on the table next to him Bertie flung his arms in the air, sending the tray clattering to the floor, which in turn resulted in the glass shattering and its contents spilling over the floor and over Jeeves. Being the perfect valet, even though patently this was not his fault, Jeeves took the blame.

"I'm extremely sorry, Sir" 

But before he could start to tidy up the mess, Bertie stopped him with a bolt from the blue.

"Jeeves, this is the bally limit. You will go to your room and pack your bags. I want you out of here by the morning"

"Sir?" Jeeves somehow managed to convey a pained incredulity with that one word.

"You heard me, Jeeves, I'm dismissing you with immediate effect. You're fired! And don't expect a letter of recommendation. See to it that you're out of this flat by the morning"

"Sir?"

"I said, you're fired! Now go and pack your things".

For the first time since he'd arrived at Mr Wooster's residence, Jeeves could find no more words to say. Mr Wooster had told him to go and pack. So he did just that. Still, as he gathered his things together, Jeeves fully expected that Mr Wooster would come to his room to apologise, to ask him to stay. But he did not. 

The next morning, as Jeeves brought his bags out of his room, ready for his departure, he saw that Mr Wooster was standing near the window. He was holding an envelope. On seeing Jeeves, he came towards him and asked, somewhat belatedly in Jeeves's opinion,

"Do you have somewhere to go?"

"I can stay at the Junior Gannymede, Sir" Jeeves hesitated, but then went on "Mr Wooster, now that I'm no longer in your employ, may I enquire as to your reasons for dismissing me?"

"No, Jeeves, you may not" said Bertie, putting an end to it. He gave Jeeves the envelope. "Take this. Open it when you get to your club". Jeeves took it without question.

"I'll say goodbye then, Sir"

Bertie turned away. "Just go, Jeeves. Please just go"

When Jeeves had checked in to one of the guest rooms at the Junior Gannymede, he perched on the edge of the bed and opened the envelope Mr Wooster had given him. It contained a considerable sum of money in cash and a short note, which read:

"This should be of help until you find a new position. I'm truly sorry, Jeeves. I had no choice".

Jeeves put the note in his pocket, profoundly disturbed by the finality of it, the empty feeling it gave him. He knew it had never been about an upturned drinks tray, but whatever it was, at that moment Jeeves didn't know if it could ever be put right.


	3. Tuppy Intervenes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bertie has a chance meeting with Tuppy Glossop and learns some disturbing news.

After Jeeves had left and the new valet, Duxbury, had arrived from the agency, Bertie set sail for New York. He'd procured a one-way passage and at that moment had no intention of ever returning to England.

So we're back where we found him at the start, in Central Park, trying to forget. It was high time he went back to the apartment, but as Bertie rose from the bench, he was startled by the sudden appearance of Tuppy Glossop. 

"What-ho, Bertie!"

"Tuppy! I didn't know you were in New York"

"I'm not. I mean to say, I am, business you know, but I'm going back to England tomorrow. I say, Bertie, why don't you have dinner with me tonight and give me a send off?"

"I don't think so, Tuppy, thanks all the same".

Tuppy gave Bertie a concerned look, which for Tuppy was quite remarkable. 

"Are you alright, Bertie? You don't seem yourself. You're missing Jeeves, aren't you?".

"Jeeves? Not a bit of it, old chum" said Bertie in his best nonchalant tone, which didn't fool Tuppy one bit. 

"Speaking of Jeeves" said Tuppy "I saw him, you know. Jeeves, I mean. It was just before I left for New York. Funny, because I'd not seen him at all since you two parted ways. He was with your Aunt Agatha". 

"What do you mean he was with my Aunt Agatha?" Bertie was beginning to wonder if Tuppy was really there or just an hallucination. 

"I mean Jeeves was with your Aunt Agatha, in the foyer at the Savoy Hotel. They were chatting".

"Chatting?" Bertie was more confused by the minute.

"Yes, chatting. You know, talking" explained Tuppy helpfully.

"I know what chatting means, Tuppy. What I want to know is what they were chatting about".

"I don't know, Bertie. I wasn't going to go over and eavesdrop, was I?". 

"Well anyway, Tuppy, you can't possibly have seen Jeeves with my Aunt Agatha. Jeeves is persona non grata as far as that particular relative is concerned. Unless of course she was giving him the same earful she usually gives me". 

"It didn't look like it, old chum. Seemed to me like they were conversing quite amicably. I'd wager she was partaking of his wisdom. She probably needed help with some crisis". 

Bertie didn't know what to make of it, but a chilling thought ran its icy fingers through his brain. What if Jeeves had been in on this from the start? What if the whole affair was some plot against him by Aunt Agatha and Jeeves? He thought of the infamous bicycle ride incident, of being sent on a wild goose chase by that said Jeeves. He pushed the idea away. He refused to believe that Jeeves would deliberately hurt him. 

They walked on for a moment in silence and then Bertie said "so who is Jeeves with these days?".

"Hah!" said Tuppy, jabbing an accusing finger at Bertie, "Hah! I knew it! I knew you were missing Jeeves!"

Bertie tutted and rolled his eyes.

Tuppy came up with the goods. "I've heard he's with some household in Norfolk; relatives of Gussy apparently. It's something to do with a tree"

"A tree?" Bertie had lost the thread of the conversation again. "What's a tree got to do with it?"

"The name of the house where Jeeves is working. It's something to do with a tree"

Bertie wracked his brain "Oakwood Hall, by any chance?"

"Yes, that's the one! You've not lost that sharp mind of yours, Bertie. I must say though I was surprised to hear that Jeeves had gone there. They've not got the best of reputations when it comes to how they treat their staff"

Bertie shuddered, but didn't answer. 

"You should come back to England with me, Bertie". Tuppy's words brought Bertie back to the here and now. "There's only one way to fix this, you know, Bertie, and it dashed well needs fixing, I'd say"

It was as if someone had flipped a switch. 

"You know something, Tuppy, you're right. I'm jolly well dashed if I'm going to mope about here any longer. It's not the way of the Woosters. I will come with you tomorrow, Tuppy, and I shall bally well fix it, like you say"

"That's the spirit, Bertie" Tuppy slapped him on the back "After all, this is you and Jeeves. How hard can it be to fix?"

If only he knew.


	4. The Squeezing Sensation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bertie seeks out Jeeves and there are more disturbing revelations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope there isn't anyone called Lord Oakwood in real life, but if there is, the character in my story is not meant to be him and I sincerely apologise to him. This is purely fiction.

The voyage back to England was interminable. Tuppy spent the entire time telling Bertie about the wonders of the new love of his life, a girl he'd met aboard ship, and Bertie spent the entire time not listening to him. Even Duxbury was caught up in the romantic mood, keeping company with one of a troupe of show girls. Bertie felt like the only person in the world who wasn't "in love".

As the journey went on, it was all Bertie could do to maintain the optimism he'd regained in New York. He had no doubt what he wanted to do, and that was to get Jeeves back. There was no question about that. Would Jeeves come back? That was the question. Why would he agree to come back into Bertie's service after what had happened? The doubts kept nagging at him.

When at last they reached Southampton, only for Duxbury to give notice of his intention to leave in order to stay with his show girl, Bertie was at a low ebb. It seemed to him that his track record of keeping his valets happy was a miserably poor one. It was a wonder he'd managed to keep Jeeves for as long as he had. 

"Cheer up, Bertie!" Tuppy slapped him on the back as they disembarked. The back slapping was becoming a habit, Bertie noted with some irritation. "You've come home to make things right, remember!"

Bertie wished he felt as confident as Tuppy sounded. 

Still, within a couple of weeks, Bertie had made some progress, and he was to be found on a country lane in Norfolk, in the two seater with Gussy Fink-Nottle.

"I don't know why you wanted to come here, Bertie" whined a disgruntled Gussy. "Lord Oakwood thought I'd had some sort of brain storm when I asked for a dinner invitation for the two of us".

Bertie grimaced "I hear he's a bit of a tyrant, Gussy. I never thought your family would have a tyrant in its ranks".

"He's a very distant relative" explained Gussy. "Even so, he's rather a blot on the family name. I'm surprised Jeeves has agreed to work for him. The last man left after Lord Oakwood went for him with a riding crop".

Bertie stopped the car with an alarming screech of brakes.

"What??" Bertie couldn't believe what he'd just heard. 

"Lord Oakwood took a riding crop to his last valet".

"Good grief. Really?"

"Yes" Gussy assured him "in public too; at a dinner party, in front of the guests".

"Oh my word, Gussy. I mean to say, my word. No wonder the chap resigned". Bertie shook his head in disbelief.

"Oh he didn't resign, Bertie. Lord Oakwood doesn't let his staff resign. If they do, he has them blacklisted. He fired him".

Bertie started the car again, somewhat shakily. 

He glanced at Gussy. "So you don't know how it came about then? Jeeves going there I mean". 

"Only that it was your Aunt Agatha that arranged it".

There was another screech of brakes and Gussy lurched forward in his seat. 

"My Aunt Agatha arranged it?" This situation was going from bad to worse.

"So I heard. Come on, Bertie, we'll never get there if you keep stopping the car".

When they arrived at the house, some of the staff were waiting to greet them and take their bags. 

"Don't do anything you'll regret, Bertie!" warned a nervous Gussy.

When Bertie saw Jeeves, he felt a most peculiar sensation in his stomach. It felt like someone was gripping his insides and squeezing them. It wasn't an entirely unpleasant feeling.

"Good afternoon, Mr Fink-Nottle, Mr Wooster". Jeeves took their coats. "If you'll follow me". Jeeves led them to the drawing room. "Lord Oakwood will be down directly". 

The squeezing in Bertie's insides was getting tighter. Was there to be no reaction from Jeeves on seeing him again after all this time?

"I say, Jeeves, it's jolly good to see you". Bertie wanted to throw his arms around Jeeves and hug him, but he was painfully aware of Gussy behind him, not to mention the need to maintain some decorum. "I have to say though, I'm surprised you've ended up here".

There was no response.

"Jeeves?"

"I am not permitted to converse with guests, Sir".

Bertie's expression said more than his words could "Oh what rot, Jeeves! This is me you're talking to"

"Yes, Sir" Jeeves said in a tone so formal it shocked both Bertie and Gussie "and I am breaking house rules by doing so". 

At that moment, an unseen voice bellowed "Jeeves!" and Lord Oakwood appeared at the door. "Jeeves! My study! Immediately!"

Jeeves gave Bertie a look that said "I did warn you" and then turned and followed Lord Oakwood along the corridor.

"Oh my word, Gussy" Bertie looked at Gussy in horror. All Gussy could do was to say what Jeeves had conveyed silently "I warned you, Bertie. I did warn you".


	5. The Note, The Dresser and The Nightstand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bertie and Jeeves communicate.

Bertie knew he had to think of some way of communicating with Jeeves without ending up in the soup with Lord Oakwood, so to speak. A note would be the best way, he reckoned, but how to get it to Jeeves without incurring the wrath of the Oakwoods? This in addition to negotiating dinner with said Lord and effecting an escape back to Gussy's place shortly thereafter. Ordinarily he would ask Jeeves, who would come up with some stroke of genius. Dash it, that was just one reason he missed Jeeves so much.

Gussy choking during dinner was Bertie's first idea. Not actually choking, you understand, but pretending to choke. During the ensuing melee, Bertie would slip it to Jeeves. The note, that is. There was but one fly in the thingummy. Gussy flatly refused to choke or otherwise cause a spectacle during dinner, or at any other time for that matter. 

Plan number two was the old trick of walking in the grounds and having Gussy send Jeeves out to him on some pretext. What the pretext would be was not immediately clear. Besides, Bertie had a vague recollection of a similar plan, albeit with different protagonists, ending in disaster. Oh and Gussy refused to do it. Gussy was turning out to be a prize bore.

In the end, the plan Bertie settled on was brilliantly simple and what's more it worked. Was this a first, Bertie wondered. Before he went down to dinner, Bertie wrote a note addressed to Jeeves. The clever thing was, he didn't take it down to dinner with him. 

During the meal, Bertie called Jeeves over.

"Jeeves, I've left my cigarette case in my room. It's on the dresser. Bring it to me"

Bertie was pleased with himself. He'd done a passable job at sounding..... What was the word he was looking for..... cold? .... imperious? ......... masterly? ......an utter blighter? At any rate, he made it a command, not a request, and Lord Oakwood seemed suitably impressed. 

In Mr Wooster's room, Jeeves found the cigarette case and, underneath it, a note, which read:

"Jeeves,  
let me know when is your evening off and where I can meet you. I'll take you to dinner.  
Bertie"

Jeeves was taken aback by the dinner invitation and even more by Mr Wooster's signing the note "Bertie", but he didn't have much time to think about it. A prolonged absence from the dining room would arouse suspicion. He took out his pen and underneath Mr Wooster's signature he wrote:

"Sir,  
Friday of next week, 7.30 in the evening at the village pub. Please do not worry. My situation is not as unpleasant as it may seem.  
Jeeves "

He left the note on Mr Wooster's nightstand. Back in the dining room, Jeeves handed the cigarette case to Mr Wooster.

"Your case, Sir. It was on your nightstand"

Their eyes met for no more than a second, but it was long enough for each of them to understand.


	6. The Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the full enormity of the situation becomes clear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, folks, I know that Jeeves would never, NEVER, do anything like this, but I wanted to explore the idea of how Bertie would react if Jeeves did something unforgivable. So I hope you'll forgive me.

The Friday evening of the following week found Jeeves waiting outside the village pub, feeling uncomfortably conspicuous, dressed for dinner as he was, in his best attire. He was wondering if this was such a good idea, when he was startled by the loud blast of a car horn, as Mr Wooster drew up in the two seater. 

"What-ho, Jeeves, Climb aboard!"

As some of the locals looked on, Jeeves took his seat next to Mr Wooster, who smiled at him warmly. Jeeves looked away. His heart sank at the thought of what lay ahead that evening. Mr Wooster looked so happy to see him. His happiness, Jeeves knew, would be short lived. Bertie didn't seem to notice his somber mood. They drove away, eliciting wolf whistles from some of the less desirable element amongst the onlookers. 

"There's a veritable dearth of places to eat in rural Norfolk, Jeeves" said Bertie cheerfully, ignoring the stony silence emanating from his companion. "But I managed to find a place. I booked the whole establishment for the evening so we'll have some privacy. It's just outside...."

Jeeves interrupted him "Sir, forgive me for interrupting you, but there is something I must tell you". 

Bertie, if he discerned Jeeves's mood from his desperate tone of voice, didn't let it deter him. Or perhaps he sensed that something unpleasant was imminent and tried to stall it. 

"Save it for when we've got our snouts in the trough, Jeeves. There'll be plenty of time to talk over dinner". 

Jeeves, as we know, is someone who appears at all times to have his emotions, such as they are, in check, and to have control of any given situation. Indeed it could be said he prided himself on it. Just then, however, in the two seater with Mr Wooster, it was all he could do to hold back tears and prevent himself being overcome by fear and shame. The full enormity of the situation weighed heavily on his shoulders. He had no choice now. How he had ever imagined he would be able to keep this from Mr Wooster, he did not know, but he must tell Mr Wooster tonight. Things had gone too far. He must tell him everything.

Their destination turned out to be a small establishment just outside one of the neighbouring villages. Bertie had ensured that they'd be alone there by paying the proprietor a tidy amount of cash to keep the place closed to other customers. A waiter brought them each a menu and Jeeves had a sudden irrational thought that as he was no longer in Mr Wooster's employ, it would be required of him to pay at least his portion of the bill. He looked at the prices on the menu with what he thought was well disguised concern. 

"Order whatever you'd like, Jeeves, this is on me" Bertie said with a wink.

Apparently he wasn't as good at disguising things from Mr Wooster as he'd hoped, Jeeves thought ruefully.

By the end of the evening, neither one of them could have said what they had ordered or indeed if they had eaten any of it. 

"So, Jeeves, how are things at Oakwood Hall?". It was the best opener Bertie could come up with.

"Oh, Sir" Jeeves choked on his words.

"Jeeves, what is it? You've been a positively wet blanket all evening."

Jeeves sighed and shook his head "Oh, Sir".

"Jeeves, it might not seem like it sometimes, but we Woosters have considerable influence. If Lord Oakwood is mistreating you, I swear I won't rest until he regrets it". 

Jeeves was shocked by the vehemence in Mr Wooster's words. It was most unlike him.

"There really is no need, Sir. My troubles are all of my own making". 

"Well, Jeeves, said troubles are over. I want you to come back. Truth is I never wanted to dismiss you, but Aunt Agatha had me over the proverbial barrel. If she tries to stop me taking you back though, I'll tell her to go boil her head. I'll do whatever I have to do to protect you from her too. What do you say, Jeeves, will you at least consider it?"

Bertie held his breath. He wasn't at all sure Jeeves would consider it.

"I have no need to consider it, Sir. There is nothing I want more. However, I cannot".

"Oh come now, Jeeves, tell me, what is it? It can't be that bad, surely?" Despite his words, Bertie could see that whatever it was, it was bad, very bad. 

Jeeves began to recount the tale as Bertie listened, wondering why things had to be so dashed complicated.

"Last year, Sir, if you recall, my sister was widowed". Bertie remembered Jeeves asking for leave to attend the funeral. "Unfortunately, since then, my sister has been in considerable financial difficulty. I have been sending her money" he cleared his throat "but it has not been enough to stave off financial ruin, particularly as her landlord saw fit to increase the rent quite considerably after her husband died"

Bertie felt quite pipped "Well I like that. Inconsiderate blighter!"

"Indeed, Sir. He instructed bailiffs, and they managed to garner my name and address, since I had been contributing to the rent"

The obvious question, where did you get the money from, hadn't occurred to Bertie at this point. 

"Regrettably, Sir, my sister's rent is now in considerable arrears and her landlord is threatening to evict her by the end of the month if she does not pay." He paused. Mr Wooster told him to continue. "Her landlord is Lord Oakwood, Sir". 

"My word, what a coincidence" 

Jeeves wondered how long is was going to take Mr Wooster to comprehend.

"It is not entirely coincidental, Sir. When Lord Oakwood realised both that I was his tenant's brother and also that you had dismissed me, he asked Lady Worplesdon to arrange for me to join his household. They are old acquaintances".

Bertie was confused. "I'm confused, Jeeves. Why did Lord Oakwood want you to join his household? I mean I know your reputation precedes you, but it's bally strange if you ask me".

"It is in payment of the rent arrears, Sir" Jeeves looked mortified.

"Wait a second. You mean you're working for him for nothing? He's not paying you?"

"Precisely, Sir. Although even then it is not enough it seems to prevent my sister's eviction". 

"Oh, good lord, Jeeves"

Jeeves steeled himself. He had to do this now, even though he wished with all his heart that he did not. 

"That is not the worst of it. You did not ask me how I was able to send my sister money. Mr Wooster, I do not know how to tell you this". 

Bertie knew something was definitely up if Jeeves was calling him "Mr Wooster".

"For the last several months that I was in your employment, I was taking money from the household funds to send to my sister". Bertie looked at him, still not fully understanding. 

"I was stealing from you, Sir". 

Those words hit Bertie in the chest like a bullet. When Jeeves had said he'd been taking money from the household funds to send to his sister, he'd thought nothing of it. He gave Jeeves a weekly allowance for the marketing and other necessities and was in the habit of leaving what really were large amounts of cash in the sideboard, to be used for all sorts of things such as entertaining friends, emergency trips to escape aunts and potential fiancées, bailing out chaps from prison and the like. He wouldn't have thought twice about Jeeves using it for this and that. But because he took it without leave, Jeeves had called it stealing. And once it was called stealing, then stealing it was. 

Jeeves waited for Mr Wooster to say or do something. Bertie just stared blindly. He was hurt. He was so, so hurt. He didn't care two hoots for the money. After all he'd not even noticed it had been taken. What hurt him, what felt like a knife cutting into his soul, was that for all the times, all the innumerable times, he'd asked Jeeves for his help with trivial and not so trivial problems and crises, when Jeeves himself was in trouble, he had not turned to his master, his friend, for help in return. Why? Why had Jeeves felt unable to turn to him in his hour of need? It's my fault, Bertie concluded. This Wooster should have known something was wrong. He should have known.


	7. Let No Man Put Asunder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bertie affirms the Unbreakable Whatsit.

He'd made a full confession and now all Jeeves could do was to await the consequences. It was not a feeling he relished or was accustomed to, the feeling that events were beyond his control. He'd expected...... In fact he had not known what to expect. Mr Wooster would have been well within his rights to report the matter to the police, but he had not even asked Jeeves how much money he had taken. Instead he had been ominously quiet. 

There was still so much that Jeeves didn't understand. The extent of Lady Worplesdon's involvement and her motivation was a case in point. Was it just that she objected to Mr Wooster's easy familiarity with him, or was there some other, even more sinister reason for her actions? As for Lord Oakwood, on the night that Mr Wooster and Mr Fink-Nottle had come to dinner, he had taken such pains to impress upon Jeeves that he should not talk to Mr Wooster under any circumstances, that Jeeves wondered what could possibly call for such intensity. Did either Lady Worplesdon or Lord Oakwood know what Jeeves had done? Those were questions that ultimately would go unanswered, and that eventually were superseded by events.

In some ways, Jeeves did not regret what he had done. He had been forced to act in what turned out to be a fruitless attempt to help his sister. What he did regret, and regretted bitterly, was that this episode could signal the end of his association with a kind and generous employer. He laughed at himself inwardly. Who was he trying to fool? The end of his association with a former employer, no, it could signal the end of a precious friendship, something that he knew would break his heart. 

 

Their evening at an end, Bertie was sorely tempted to tell Jeeves he could bally well  
make his own way back to Oakwood Hall and that perhaps he could find a bicycle to ride, but a gentleman does not stoop so low. Before Bertie could start the two seater, however, Jeeves broke the uncomfortable silence.

"Sir, I have something of yours that I should return to you" he took out an envelope "the money you gave me on the day you dismissed me. In the circumstances, I could not bring myself to use it". 

Bertie tried to think of some stinging retort, but all he could say was "I don't want it back. Keep it". 

Jeeves shook his head "But, Sir....."

"I said, keep it!" Bertie snapped, nay, almost shouted.

They lapsed into silence again, but when they drew up outside Oakwood Hall, Bertie realised that if he was going to say what he wanted to say, it was going to have to be now. 

"Jeeves, you know, I always thought there was an unbreakable ...... whatsit... between us".

Jeeves seemed to consider this for a moment. "Yes, Sir, 'A love that, unbroken by complaints, shall not dissolve until the last day', if I might paraphrase Horace". 

"The very same, Jeeves, but I don't think good old Horace got it quite right". 

"Sir?"

"It won't ever dissolve, not even on the last day. I refuse to forsake you, Jeeves". He offered Jeeves his hand, and after a moment's hesitation, it was accepted. So there was still hope, Jeeves thought.

When the moment had passed Bertie said "I'll be in touch" and he waited until Jeeves had entered the house before he drove away.


	8. A Walk in the Moonlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bertie demonstrates he really is a gentleman.

Never let it be said that Bertram Wilberforce Wooster is of negligible anything. Monday morning saw him at the offices of Brownill, Campion and Tyldesley, Solicitors. The firm had been the family's solicitors for many years, and Mr Tyldesley knew Bertie's aunts, and had known his parents. 

"So what can we do for you, Mr Wooster?"

"Well, it's rather a long story, but I'll cut it down to size, shall I?" Bertie was eager to get this business done with. "I want to buy a property from Lord Oakwood, of Oakwood Hall, in Norfolk".

Mr Tyldesley looked up from the paper he was writing on. "Are you moving out of London, Mr Wooster?".

"No, no! It's a tenanted property. I want to keep the tenant in there" he paused "I won't be charging rent". 

Mr Tyldesley raised an eyebrow, but continued making notes.

"I also want to reimburse Lord Oakwood for rent arrears, arrange that immediately, will you? As for the property, if His Lordship won't sell, I want you to arrange to re-house the tenant at my expense".

Now two eyebrows were raised.

"Do you remember my former valet Jeeves?" 

My Tyldesley looked up. "Yes, of course. Is he no longer with you?"

"He's with Lord Oakwood, for the moment at least. You will need to contact Jeeves for the address of the property. The tenant is his sister". 

"Ah" said Mr Tyldesley, his eyebrows back to normal "now I understand. I take it I am at liberty to tell Mr Jeeves who has instructed me. He would be unlikely to divulge the address otherwise".

"Yes, please do. I wouldn't know how to even begin to tell him myself".

 

Back at Berkeley Mansions, Bertie wrote a letter to his Aunt Agatha, which is reproduced below.

My dear Aunt,

I decided to write rather than visit so I can speak without interruption.

He doesn't know it yet, but it is my intention in due course to collect Jeeves from Oakwood Hall and reinstate him in his rightful place as my valet. You already know my reasons for doing so. They are the same reasons that seem to have prompted your recent interference in my affairs. Jeeves is more than just a servant to me, he is my dearest friend. If you accuse him of wrongdoing, as you threatened to, I will defend him with everything I have and until I breath my last. If that displeases you, then so be it. You must accept Jeeves, or you must lose me, 

Your nephew, 

B.W. Wooster. 

 

And now, two personal accounts of a memorable day, first of all from Bertie.

Really quite chuffed with how it all worked out in the end. I solved the thorny problem of my Aunt Agatha and Lord Oakwood and I didn't even need the help of a certain valet. I'm not quite the hopeless chump that everyone thinks I am. Jeeves wouldn't have stayed with me for so long if I were, would he? I'm glad to report that Aunt Agatha was somewhat impressed by my letter, and said I'd finally grown up. In her reply she even referred to Jeeves as one of the family. Would you believe that? 

It was a dashed mischievous thing to do, but the day I got Jeeves back, I played a rotten trick on him. I couldn't resist. Just a shame that the chaps from the Drones couldn't be there to see it, but you can only get the two of us in the car. As I drove back to the flat, having collected Jeeves from Oakwood Hall, I gave him a few home truths. It went something like this.

"Jeeves, I have to inform you that due to your transgressions I am imposing a strict regime from now on".

"Sir?" he said, in that way he has of saying "Sir?" that makes it sound like he's really saying "what the blazes are you jabbering on about?"

Well I laid it on with the proverbial whatever it is.

"Firstly, I am revoking your evenings off"

"Sir?" there it was again.

"You heard me, Jeeves. Secondly, you are not to go out without leave".

"I fail to understand, Sir" his face was a bally picture. It was priceless.

"Then I'll explain. You are not to leave the flat without my express permission" usually you see, he comes and goes as he pleases, me being an enlightened sort "and I'll only be giving such permission when you have household errands to run". 

"Very good, Sir". It sounded like "are you mad?". I kept going.

"You will obey my orders without question, you will not criticise my choice of attire, and you will not make clever remarks about my singing. Any disobedience will be severely punished". 

"Yes, Sir". 

He looked dashed hurt. It was a good thing that we arrived back at Berkeley Mansions when we did because I couldn't have kept a straight face much longer. Rummy thing was, he believed me. I mean to say, dash it all, as if I'd do any of that. Dashed good fun though. 

 

Now we hear from Jeeves.

I have to confess to being dismayed by Mr Wooster's proclamation regarding the new household regime, particularly as I had only that morning learned about the extremely generous way he had helped my sister and, by extension, me. At any other time I would have immediately seen through him, but I felt I was in a vulnerable position and indeed had he in fact imposed such a regime it would have been no more than I deserved, although Mr Wooster will not allow of such a sentiment. 

When we arrived at Berkeley Mansions, however, my dismay turned to bewilderment. The front of our building was festooned with ribbons and bunting, and above the entrance was a large banner, displaying the words "Welcome Home, Jeeves". Stunned by the gesture, I looked at Mr Wooster and was rewarded with that sheepish smile of his. I asked him if this meant that he had forgiven me (I knew by his smile that his pronouncement of the strict regime had been in jest) and he said there was nothing to forgive. He wondered aloud how on earth I could have believed the "bally rot" he had been "spouting". At any rate, he seemed to have enjoyed my reaction to all of it. What touched me the most was Mr Wooster's insistence that his flat was my home too. 

That evening, to my surprise, Mr Wooster invited me to go with him to the Drones Club as a guest. Thankfully he immediately saw my reluctance and he suggested instead that we take a walk, which was much more to my liking. It was a clear, moonlit night and we walked through the neighbouring streets talking amiably about Mr Wooster's attempts to make tea of a morning while he was without a valet and my travails at Oakwood Hall. Looking back, I realise that during our conversation not once did I address him as "Sir" and not once did he remark upon it. I have always been fond of Mr Wooster, first as a kind employer and later as a friend. I do believe, however, it was as we strolled under the moonlight that evening, that I fell in love with him. 

 

The last word goes to Bertie.

I'm not one to bandy a valet's name, if bandy is the word I want, but by Jove if we didn't kiss rather passionately when we got back to the flat after our walk. Jeeves had me pinned against the wall. I mean to say, Jeeves, old fruit! I invited him to spend the night with me in my bed. We held each other close all night. I told him that anything more than that could wait. He has to let me be the master some of the time. As it was, we both agreed that our first night together should be about our friendship, not anything else. That's what's important to us after all. 

The End

 

 

"

 


End file.
